What are some questions you can use to engage in provocative conversations?

I hear what you’re saying. You are a responsible person but you feel trapped and with no options. And I’m just wondering, why are you having any problems at all in your life?

2. What do you think the real truth is here?

3. Are you sure about that? I have a sense that there’s something more. Are you sure it’s about …(i.e. losing someone or something or approval)

4. Is this the kind of life you want to have?

How Do You Learn About Engaging in Provocative Conversations?

Practice the three sets of questions; the duh, the deep and the doubting.

Listen to others in their conversations. See if you can pick these questions out in the dialogue.

Try NOT using these types of questions and watch how boring things can get!

Ask yourself the questions around your own life. Is your life problem free? Why not? Great coaches walk their talk.

What Mistakes do coaches make with engaging in provocative conversations?

1. They stay on the surface accepting their client stories at face value.

They are not careful about being seduced to just follow where the client wants to go, thinking they are letting the client appropriately “set” the agenda. They may actually be letting the client lead them astray.

2. They fear asking deep questions.

They are concerned about prying into private areas. They don’t realize that their job is to navigate with curiosity so that the client can see more truth and do something about the truth if they choose to.

3. They don’t have a relationship with problem free living

Since they are not on a path to problem free living they don’t know how to talk about it. Even if you are not there yet, your process will be highly valuable to your clients.

4. They misunderstand the distinction between provoke and evoke.

Consequently their sessions focus on evoking more of the client story rather than provoking them to see more and want more for themselves.

How will you engage with provocative conversations in your coaching?  Share with us by leaving your comments below.

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